It's been such a long time-- but I am ready to get back in it. Before we dive right back into living healthy and finding alternative ways to destress, I must confess something to you. I have not been good to myself. The move to Sacramento 2 years ago was much harder than I would like to admit to anyone. And having Jason gone in South Korea only added to my hardship.
When I got down here, I felt confident, healthy and happy. And despite my therapist's suggestion that my first move down here, after finding a place to live, should be to find someone to continue working with on my depression-- I didn't. And that only led me back down a very dark path. I let my anti-depressant prescription run out, without getting a new one. I became withdrawn again. And I started binge-eating my feelings. It wasn't good.
And after two years of wandering down a dark and emotional path-- I've decided to get back into it. It helps that I now have a pretty ring on my finger to motivate me, but that's not the real reason I am choosing to get back into this.
I don't recognize myself when I walk past a mirror. I don't feel good about myself when I get up in the morning. And only a fraction of my wardrobe fits me anymore. It's sad by true. But, instead of wallowing over the fact that I allowed my emotions to get the better of me, once again-- I am deciding to pick myself up, dust myself off and get back on the path to a healthier, happier life.
Here goes nothing:
New Starting Weight: 378.8 pounds.
Goal Weight in a Year: 278.8 pounds.
Ultimate Goal Weight: 200 pounds.
So here's what worked for me last time:
Pre-planning meals. I am successful at portion control and making healthy choices if I put the work in the week before. Planning not only dinner-- but breakfast, lunch and snacks for the week ahead keeps me from overeating during the week.
Keeping a food diary. Logging what I am going to eat that day, my exercise and how much water I've had to drink keeps me honest. Since I've planned my meals I tend to log everything I am going to eat during the day in the morning-- then when someone brings in a box of donuts, a bag of candy, or several cake samples to work, I already know what my "budget" is for extra food. It sounds strict, and it is, but it helps me from over-eating. I am a visual learner friends.
Here's what didn't work for me last time:
Jumping into a crazy workout schedule. Some people can dive right in and never look back. That's not me. I need to work up to a crazy routine-- otherwise I end up hurting myself, get frustrated and wind up sliding back into old eating habits.
Blogging soley about fitness. For many people, this keeps them honest-- having a group of readers to confess to. Not me. I feel guilty for not reaching certain goals and certain times, and then I stay away. I will be writing about my fitness goals on this blog, but it won't be weekly. Instead I'm going to scale back to monthly.
And, here's a new thing I'm going to try this time:
I broke down and bought a Fitbit. Well, I didn't-- Jason did. But it's been incredibly helpful so far, I'm not big on participating in challenges, or earning badges-- but I do like seeing how many steps I've taking in a day. I sit at a desk all day, so a visual reminder to get up and walk around the building is helpful.
So there it is. I am excited to get back into a healthy lifestyle, and I am happy to be blogging again. Keep checking back for more.