Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Doubt and Self-Conciousness

This weekend, I read two posts ("Let the Light In" and "Doubts") by friends of mine who were finding ways to deal with their self-conciousness and doubts.  Both of these women have started a new endeavour.  And both, have gotten to that enevitable point where you start to doubt yourself.

It's interesting to me, because I too have gotten to that point.  At the beginning of the year (I know it's only been a couple of weeks)  I was super excited about re-vamping this blog, that excitement and drive is starting to dwindle.

There are so many projects I need to complete before I really get this blog up and running.  First things first, I need a space to be creative in.  Some place I can go that's away from the distractions of everyday life.  I'd like to turn my office in to a writing/sewing/drawing/painting/craft space.  But that's going to take some time, and effort.  This is what it looks like now:

Can you say overwhelming?  So much to organize!!!  Every time I walk by this room, I feel like I just want to close the door and forget about it.  But I need a space to get my creativity on.

For the last three weeks I've been going back and forth... "Can I do this?", "Am I giving myself too many projects to do?", "Do I really have what it takes to make this successful?"  It's been torture the last few weeks, putting myself through that.

And then, on Thursday I got a sign.  They eliminated my shows at work, and placed me in a full-time writer position.  I've been wrestling with whether I wanted to continue as a TV News Producer for the last year.  And when this big change happened, I finally realized that it's time to move on.  This change gives me the time I need to dedicate to myself and my writing.  I don't have any responsibilities at work to stress over anymore, so I'm less tired.  And I work nights, so I have the entire morning to work on my posts, my fitness, etc.

Something that a few years ago would have been a bad thing, has turned out to be the best thing possible for me.  I finally have an excuse to take all the steps I need to, to make my transition.  And I couldn't be happier.  I had lunch with a friend recently, and she told me I had a radiant glow.  It's funny how life works isn't it?

Some of us need to draw out our feelings of frustration,  some of us just need to let a little light in.... as for me, I need life to take away all the unnecessary responsibilities I pile on myself, in order for me to see what's truly important.

Do you do anything special to deal with stress, doubt or self-consciousness? I'd love to hear your feedback and find out how you deal with life when it gets tough.

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