Sue was a constant presence in my life, and was a tremendous source of support.
She was fiercely independent, and wasn't afraid to be herself. She never married, nor did she have kids. And as a young girl, I thought she was the coolest person, because she chose not to be what society told her she had to be. I'm not sure she ever really saw it that way. But for me, a young girl who wasn't interested in getting married or having kids, I thought she was the most kick-ass woman in the world.
I never got the chance to tell Aunt Susie just how much she meant to me. She died about a month and a half before our planned trip to visit her. But, despite being in pain, she was able to be at my wedding back in March-- and for that I will be forever grateful.
My family asked me to write the eulogy for today's service. It was a very scary, but special, honor for me. And now, I would like to share it with you. My hope is that those of you who knew my aunt, but can't be at the service, get a chance to find some closure in my words. And for those of you who didn't know her, I hope you learn what an amazing person she really was.
Without further ado, here is my eulogy for my Aunt Sue...
Today we say goodbye to a beloved soul. Sue Stephens was many things: a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a neighbor, a mentor and a teacher. Her greatest fear was that she would never be remembered… but as everyone in this room can attest, it would be very difficult to forget who she was.
Sue was a champion for children. She worked with youth in the summers at Camp Namanu, studied education in college, ran several childcare centers in the Portland area, worked with The Girl Scouts, and spent her last days as the director for the Central Oregon branch of SMART— a program that uses community volunteers to teach children to read.
But more important than her work with the community, was the time Sue spent with her family. I’m sure, if you asked anyone who knew her—they would tell you family meant the world to her.
Sue was the second oldest child to Gail and Irene Stephens. Born in Walla Walla, Washington to a house that would grow with each passing year, she managed to form a unique bond with each of her four sisters.
Her mother Irene tells the story of when they first moved into the house on Salmon Street. She and her husband had decided to have Sue and her older sister Nancy, share a room--- which, as Irene puts it, “turned out to be a complete disaster.” The girls were the definition of opposites. Nancy slept in, Sue was up with the sun. But that would turn out to be a running joke among the girls later in life. Both born Geminis, Sue would call Nancy with their horoscope on occasion. If it was something wild and crazy, it was Nancy’s reading. And if it was calm, it was Sue’s.
She shared everything from her favorite books, music, movies and TV shows with her sisters, and as their families expanded—she even played the role of second mother and grandmother to their children. Her sister Maurie remembers fondly that the thing they shared most in the last 40 years where her four children, and eight grandchildren.
Sue had nine nieces and nephews, each of whom she loved unconditionally. She showed up for birthday parties, usually ready to give the honoree their birthday spankings, even if the person was in their 20’s. And if she couldn’t be there, her niece Sammi remembers how she made sure to call and sing “Happy Birthday,” even if that meant singing it on voice mail.
She joined the children on family vacations and day trips to the zoo, OMSI or the Children’s museum. She made it a point to talk to each one of them at every holiday gathering. She traveled for their high school and college graduations. And even made sure she was there, dressed in whatever their wedding colors were, to show support when they got married.
Her niece Kerstin’s wedding in March was the last family event Sue was able to attend. And though she was sick, she was determined to be there to show her support—even enduring a long and at times painful ride over the mountain from Bend.
To say she was stubborn would be an understatement. But it was Sue’s stubbornness and determination that fed her passion for life.
She was an avid outdoorswoman, who loved hiking and camping. She walked the trails all around the country, from her backyard in the Columbia River Gorge in Portland and Pilot Butte in Bend to California, Hawaii and Beyond. She saw many beautiful waterfalls and vistas.
But not all of her hiking trips went according to plan. Her sister Robin remembers a time they decided to hike Saddle Mountain near the Oregon Coast. Not realizing what a grueling hike it was, they left with only an apple and some water in their backpack. By the time they reached the top, they were so hungry—Robin says they ate all the parts of the apple—even the core!
Sue also loved to travel. She visited many parts of the country, whether it was driving from the East Coast back to Oregon, or on a cruise to Alaska. And she even lived on Hawaii for over a year.
But perhaps her favorite place in the world, was the beach. Her love of the coast came at an early age, when her Grandparents used to take the girls to Long Beach, Washington for a week of sand, surf and clam digging. She took that love and made sure she helped pass it on to her nieces and nephews with yearly trips to Lincoln City, filled with memories of building sand castles, roasting hot dogs by the bonfire, trips to the tide pools, and as her nephew Kurt remembers: that one fateful trip where she backed her car into a pole in the parking lot of the grocery store.
Sue’s driving became a running joke among family and friends, but one she was always in on. She had the ability to make fun of herself and would often laugh her mistakes off with a memorable snort. Her nephew Troy remembers a time when she joined them on a trip to Disneyland. They had been on the balcony of their hotel room, admiring the view—when on the way back in, Sue tripped. After checking to see if she was ok, they spent the next 15 minutes or so laughing about the way she flew into the room.
And though she was clumsy, Sue was also fairly athletic. She was an avid golfer for much of her adult life—and even traveled to Arizona to follow around a golf tournament for six months. When she lived in The Dallas, she joined a bowling team. At one point, she was part of a bicycle team that road the famous route from Seattle to Portland. And she even walked the Hood to Coast race once, as part of a relay team for Nike.
Sue had many hobbies. She was an avid gardener, a skilled quilter, a book lover, and a self-proclaimed history buff—both history of the world around her, and her family history. Whenever she took an interest in something, she threw herself into it, learning everything she could about each hobby she took on.
She was also very comfortable in her own skin. If you ask her friends and family, they will tell you Sue wasn’t afraid to be herself around anyone and didn’t make excuses for who she was. Her niece Jennifer says she admired this quality about her the most.
It was very important to Sue to make sure she lent a hand when she could. She would often water her neighbor’s garden when they were away on vacation or come by her parents’ house to weed the yard after her father had passed away. And if she came to stay for a visit, she would make sure she helped around the house, even if she wasn’t asked.
Her sister Amy remembers a time, when Sue came to visit them in California. She thought she would pitch in and put away the dishes from the dishwasher. They looked clean. Little did she know, Amy’s husband had only pre-washed them before putting them in the dishwasher, but never ran it. So, she ended up accidentally putting away a load of dirty dishes.
Sue was also incredibly thoughtful. She made it a point to make everyone in her life feel special and loved. Whether it was a silly nickname, like the one she made up for her nephew Brian. Or making sure the kids had all the special family recipes when they moved in to their first place, like she did for her nephew Matthew. Or, as her niece Emily remembers, her ability to accept everyone for who they were.
It is Sue’s kindness and her open heart that we will miss the most. After learning of her passing, her nephew Andrew put it best, “She just loved us all so hard.” And it is that love that we will take with us, as we mourn the loss of a woman who left a memorable mark on this world. We will honor her memory every time we hear her favorite song or read a book she recommended to us. We’ll stop and smile when we see her favorite flowers blooming in spring or enjoy a bite of the cookies she used to make during our visits to Bend.
We can all take comfort in knowing that Sue was herself to the very end, and never lost her sense of humor. On her last trip to the hospital, her sister Nancy remembers, she was answering the questionnaire, when the nurse asked her if she had any out of country travel planned. Sue looked at the nurse, straight faced, and asked if her trip to heaven counted? The poor nurse didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so she took a big breath and told Sue she would just have to get back to her on that. They ended up laughing about it the whole week she was there.
Sue has left this world. But she will live on in our hearts and the stories we tell. May God Bless her, and may she rest in eternal peace.
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