Unmotivated and Exhausted

I've been on a two-week long hiatus from exercise and eating healthy.  It started with me not feeling well.... then just spiraled out of control from there.  It's not so much that I didn't want to exercise, it's just that I had no drive to get up and do it.  Plus, I've been really tired.

These feelings tap into something a bit deeper than just being sick, tired and unmotivated.  I've felt this way for the last few years.   Which could possibly explain why every-time I start up a fitness journey, it quickly crashes and burns two months later.  

Concerned by the fact that no matter what I try my energy and drive don't seem to be replenished, I went on WebMD to do some self diagnosing.  Jason calls WebMD a website for hypochondriacs, which normally I would agree with him.  But after plugging my symptoms into the website, it came up with Depression.  And I gotta say, that hits the nail right on the head.

Over the years, I've become angry, tired, emotional and stressed over EVERYTHING.  I've pushed a lot of people away and become very introverted.  I laugh less, and take everything way too seriously.  None of these personality traits fit into the awesome Kerstin package.  So, after reading a few articles about depression, I decided to make a doctor's appointment.

I figured, I could continue to be angry and upset.  I could continue to eat my feelings and lay on the couch watching re-runs of Boy Meets World.  I could continue to feel sorry for myself because I'm lonely and sad-- or I could make a phone call and find out what my options are.  I mean, who wants to be miserable for their entire life?

I certainly don't.  Three years is more than enough time to spend in this funk.  So on Tuesday, I go to find out  what's wrong, and what I can do to fix it.  My fitness life is somewhat on hold, but I'll continue to write these updates each week.  And I'll continue to walk with Jason and Khloe everyday-- which is something.  I just figure, I can't be successful in my fitness goals if I'm not in the game mentally.

Have you ever dealt with severe stress, exhaustion or depression?  What sort of help did you seek, if any?  Or are you from the schooling "fix your own problems?"