Sunday, May 19, 2013

My Dirty Little Secret

Man, have I been slacking on this blog!

The truth is, I haven't been writing as much as I want to/should be for a few reasons:

A.) Comcast is dumb, and shut off my internet because of their own billing mistake. That leaves me with no internet, except for at work until things get straightened out.

B.) I've been feeling guilty about my bad choices, and I haven't wanted to come clean to you until now...

I know that two weeks ago, I spouted off a lot of encouraging words about getting my act together again, and getting focused. (Read more: here and here) And then, I went to the beach with my family...

I ate somethings I probably shouldn't have-- and then came home to discover that Safeway was selling Chips Ahoy "Buy One, Get One Free." 

Say what???

Yes, I wound up buying 4 bags and eating 3 1/3 of them.

I'm not proud of that.  In fact, I'm quite embarrassed... hence, the avoiding writing on my blog.  I really don't want to disappoint anyone, especially myself.  But, I kind of have.  I've gotten away from my goals, and taken to overindulging in my cravings.  And because of that, I've gained almost a pound back.

Now, I know-- it's just a pound and I can easily lose it with some hard work....


It's still a pound.  A pound of hard work I threw down the drain for three weeks of cookies, ice cream and crap!  Not to mention the horrible stomach aches that followed all of that crap.  It's disappointing.  But more than that, it's frustrating. So frustrating, that I decided to do some soul-searching to figure out what was behind this over-the-top eating binge I'd put myself through.

Here's what I decided:

All of that eating, was triggered by some heavy emotions.   I've had some tough conversations with my therapist over the last month, not to mention some tough situations at work and with family.  And after all of those situations, I've chosen a bag of cookies over something better for myself... EVERY TIME!

I even had plan last week to avoid the bag of cookies:  I was going to go to my appointment, come straight home, grab Khloe and go for a nice walk.  Instead, I went home and devoured the rest of Jason's cookies!

Why?  Why didn't I just stick to the plan?  Why did I ignore my inner voice telling me to put the cookies down and go for a walk?  What's the deal here?

I'm not stupid!  I know I have a problem with emotional eating, but it's something I can't seem to shake. No matter how many articles I read on the subject, or how many tips to kick the habit I try.  It's one thing I can't seem to shake, and it frustrates the shit out of me!

Despite my frustration, I've got to say I'm proud of my weight loss progress so far.  Just look at this photo comparison!  I'm starting to look like a completely different person.  33 pounds down, 25 more to go to meet my first goal!

Whoot, whoot! :)

Do you struggle with emotional eating?  Have you been able to get past that struggle?  How did you do that? Please leave your comments, suggestions and/or encouragement in the comment section below.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...