Sunday, May 5, 2013

A Week (or two) of Less-Than-Great Choices

After last week's posts about my battle with depression, I decided to take the rest of the week off from writing.  My thinking was, I just dropped a heavy topic on you and it didn't feel right to post anything else.

But, now that it's the start of a new week, there is something I want to bring to your attention... I've been having a hard time staying on track. In the past two weeks, as I've dredged up this emotional stuff to talk about with you and with my thereapist-- I've also eaten an ENTIRE back each of Fig Newtons, Oreos and Potato Chips.  I've also eaten some ice cream and lots and lots of cookies brought into work by my evil co-workers.

This all culminated in my scale refusing to register my weight on Weigh-In Wednesday last week.  Every time I stepped on it, the reading came back "Error".  How rude!   I guess it could tell that I wasn't staying true to my diet.

You may have heard about the dieting "Cheat Day," a discussion I intend to address fully later.... Well, my cheat days were starting to become something of a "Cheat Week and a half."   Of course I countered my bad eating decisions with double workouts at the gym... but I started to feel lethargic and just plain gross.   I even stopped logging what I ate because it was incredibly ashamed that I had started stooping back to hat level.

I mean, there's nothing wrong with an Oreo or two every once in a while... or a night out at a restaurant.  But there's certainly no need to to down an entire bag in one sitting.

After my week of eating badly, I decided to try and figure out what was the root cause of this binge eating.  And this is what I came up with:

Emotions.  My emotions play a big role in what I eat and how much of it goes in my mouth.  When I'm reminded of painful memories, I lunge for the carton of ice cream or bag of Oreos.  And I don't just stop at one or two-- I eat the whole damn thing!  It's how I got into this mess in the first place... and something I've been working really hard to avoid.

But alas, none of us are immune to our weaknesses and what triggers them.  So instead, I've decided to do something different.  Instead of giving up after a week or two of bad eating... I'm going to power through, and start a journal.  My doctor thought it would be good practice to carry a journal around and write down my thoughts when I'm feeling emotional.  It might even keep me from reaching for the junk food.  And I couldn't agree more.  There's obviously something I'm choosing not to deal with-- and instead letting food fill my void.

Another thing I decided to do to counteract these less-than-great decisions was to remind myself of my goals.  So, I went back and read through my post from March.

Originally from: "Weight Loss Goals & Rewards"
Reviewing these was probably the best thing I could possibly do.  Except for the fact that I went back and looked at this "before and after" picture of me from last month.  (This month's picture coming soon)

Originally from: "Success is so Sweet!"
I think it's always good to go back and remind yourself of why you started something in the first place.  It keeps you grounded, and serves as a reminder of A.) How far you have come, and B.) How hard you worked to get there.   Screwing up all that hard work with a bag of Oreo's isn't really worth it.  So, I'm going to continue to push forward.  I'm going to start logging my food in take again, I'm going to hit the gym AND take the dog for a walk, and I'm going to take care of myself by putting healthy, nutritious food in my body...

Besides, I still have 25 more pounds to lose before I can buy myself a new bathing suit!  (Read more here)

That's my update for this week!  How is everyone else doing on their weight loss goals, if you have them?  Comments welcome below!


  1. Hey this is Carissa Tindle (now williams) from high school! I have been stocking your blog lol I finally decided to comment!

    So I was skinny in high school (you know that). But I wasn't healthy; senior year some bad stuff happened and I decided that I would control my food intake since I couldn't control my life! Not a good decision. Then when I went to college I just ate everything in sight. I gained a ton of weight. Then got married and gained more. Then had kids and gained more! I also struggled with depression during those years (though I am doing much better now).

    The last month I started a new eating plan called Trim Healthy Mama. Have you heard about it?I really like it and there is a really great support group on Facebook! I have tried Weight Watchers, Atkins, and many other diets but I always just give into the cravings and feel deprived. But on this plan I really haven't felt that way and the support from the FB group is really nice!

    I have lost 10 pounds in the first month and really haven't felt deprived. They have TONS of recipes for chocolate and brownies and cheese cake that is on plan (and you don't buy their food.) I will totally add you to the fb group if you want to check it out. Also check out this website

    Thanks for being so honest and opening up about your struggles! Life can get hard but you are strong!

    Praying for you!


    1. Thanks for your input Carissa. I love when people stock my blog, and I love it even more when they comment :)

      I've never heard of Trim Healthy Mama, but I'd love to check it out. I'm always down to look up new methods and hear what other people are doing that has worked for them. Thanks for the information, and thanks for reading!



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