After a week of feeling crummy and sick, I'm finally back with a vengeance! But my week off wasn't all rest and relaxation, it was also full of a little backsliding...
It was a particularly blah Friday night, I had just picked up Jason from work and we were both starving. Cutting down calories and exercising all week was good, but it left us feeling tired and hungrier than we should have been. So we stopped at the store. The plan was simple, find something healthy to eat, and get out of there. We grabbed some deli sandwiches and were browsing the baked chips when the idea popped in my head: Captain Crunch sounds good.
It kept repeating over and over again, like the lyrics to "Call me Maybe" when you hear a piece of the song and then can't stop singing it. So, finally I indulged the voice. Why not? Every health magazine and weight loss article I'd read lately told me to indulge my cravings every once in a while. So I walked to the cereal aisle, grabbed a box of Captain Crunch and proceeded to the checkout.
We got home, ate our dinner and were relaxing in front of the TV when that little voice came back: Aren't you dying to eat the Captain Crunch? What's the point in buying it, if you can't eat it? I was already full from dinner, and was planning to have the cereal tomorrow for breakfast. I quickly told the voice to shut up, and went back to relaxing.
But it didn't shut up. And after 30 minutes of nagging, I finally gave in. I poured a bowl and ate the cereal. It tasted like childhood. I'd forgotten what sugar cereal tasted like, because Jason only eats the plain kinds and we haven't bought sugar cereal in years. (that's probably a good thing). I inhaled the bowl, and watched myself go back for another.
It wasn't until I was finished with my 3rd bowl, that I realized what I was doing... and why. I had let my guard and my self control down, and in that weak moment I was stress eating again. Dammit, little voice. You win this time!
But that voice won again the next day, when I ate the rest of the cereal box and an entire loaf of rosemary potato bread. The reason? I had become frustrated with myself for not sticking with my workout routine. The week started out great, walking every morning, working out every night, eating healthy meals and snacks throughout the day, logging my meals, drinking lots of water and getting good sleep.
Then on Thursday, I started to develop a cold. And we took a day off from working out. I hadn't shaken my yucky feeling by Friday, so we took that day off too. And then, we stopped being health conscious all together, and I panicked.
Thoughts like: What if we never get back into our routine, and being lazy again? I can't believe I did that. What's wrong with us, why can't we just get our shit together, and be healthy for a change? Why do I keep doing this to myself?
I don't want to fail again. And I put a lot of pressure on myself to push through this. I've been proud of my progress, but not proud of the way I've gotten myself there. I need to lighten up, big time. Otherwise I'll push myself to a point where I shut down and give up completely, and that's not good for me.
So this week, I'm going to hang on to my goals from last week, and add another one:
Make sometime every day for yourself. Whether this is doing something creative like a craft or a sewing, knitting, crochet or embroidery project. Or if it's an hour of reading, a moment to do some blogging, a few minutes to take a bubble bath or do some home spa stuff. Whatever it is, I need to make some time for myself that doesn't have anything to do with my to do list.
Picture of my new goal
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your goals? How do you deal with that? I'd love to hear what you have to say.