Saturday, January 12, 2013

It's a great big world, get out there!

Tales of an Amazon Woman

I have another goal to add to my "Goals for 2013":

Put myself out there, again.

It's something I've been thinking a lot about since I talked about that post written by Michael Moore on New Year's Eve.  It's been about 3 years since I've truly loved myself and been happy with my life.  The short of it:  I had a messy falling out with a friend, that really took a toll on my confidence.  Since then,  I've been Mopey, Angry, Defensive, and about 4 of the other melodramatic dwarfs.

I had a really hard time trusting people.  And along with that came a landslide of self doubt.  I felt like the people in the "Sure" deodorant commercials.  In fact, there are still a lot of situations that make me feel that way.

But why?

Why have I been letting something that happened to me 3 years ago keep me from being myself.  Why am I letting what other people, people I don't even like, dictate how I feel and who I am?

Before the falling out I was smart, funny, quirky, confident, full of life, happy. outgoing (for the most part) and stylish to boot.  But lately, I've been all those things to myself and to the rest of the world I've been guarded, angry, sad, dead inside and unsure (unsure, unsure).

Before I asked why?  Why was I letting myself do this to myself?  Here's why:  I've always been a nice, caring person toward everyone for most of my life.  Even people who weren't my favorite got my compassion, because they needed it the most.  Then, someone told me I was a "toxic" person.  And that really shook me.  Since then, I've been blaming that person for everything, instead of brushing off their misguided opinion, and walking away with my head held high.

I let it get to me.  

I let that comment eat away at my insides, at my very core until I became Snow White's evil twin, and my emotions became the melodramatic dwarfs.  (I've got a Snow White theme going on in this post, don't judge... just go with it, ok?)

But now, I say NO MORE!  I'm only hurting myself and my future by continuing down this depressing path.  And, that's counter productive.  I have a lot to offer the world and the people in it.  And it's time to start showing them what this girl is made of!

So, to recap.  I'm going to put myself out there, again.  That means I'm going to gather up some courage and do/say/write/feel what's best for me.  I'm going to stop worrying about what others think, especially those who don't know me/don't hold a significant place in my life.  And finally, I'm going to share more of my ideas (because I've got a lot of them) and then I'm going to act on them (because I need to do that more often than not).

There you have it, another goal to add to 2013.

I'm sure there are some of you out there in a similar situation.  If you are, are you still holding on to hurt feelings, or have you moved on?  What did it take for your to move on and rediscover yourself and your potential?  I would love to get your feedback!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...